resolution reflections

some top of the year resolutions:

• fix things - fuck that noise. but really.
• stop being a disappointment - the impossible goal.
• live - tiffany in 2010 was super dreamy, and by dreamy i mean a fool.
• listen to more music - trying.
• tell the truth - i am more truthful with myself.
• hold my shit together - in this specific situation, i did retain composure but i am not sure if it was the right thing to do.
• be spontaneous - reincarnated in this year’s list as “do bold things.”
• stop being annoying over facebook - never.

• fall in love with something, anything everyday - i get where this came from but it was a low point in my year. i think it was the logic that if you love as many things as possible, something will love you back. but that’s dumb, right? i actually don’t know and i probably still believe in this logic.
• get to know as many people as possible - forgot about this one. i mean, i got to know people better and on different levels than last year.
• don’t believe everything i hear about other people. everybody has their own story and there’s constant gossip - this one is still pretty relevant. i make an ass out my self especially when i assume things or in some cases, pretend to assume things.
• be a sap, be ridiculous, be overly down. allow myself to feel rather than to be apathetic - once again i know where this came from, but i also detest that i tried to force emotions. i did that so much this year. hopefully i am improving.
• appreciate what i have and be thankful - dude i don’t think i made a thanksgiving thankful for list this year which is awful in retrospect. um i am thankful for a lot though and it’s rare for me to actually feel like i deserve something anything really, so thank you.
• thank my bus drivers. i always wonder whether i should, but usually they wish me a good day and i feel glad i did - mission successful.
• make smarter purchases. ask myself if i will wear it the amount of times there are dollars on the price tag - i think i’m doing pretty well with this one. i have banned myself from forever 21.
• eat less processed foods and make more homemade things. i can make a mean loaf of bread - but actually by mean loaf, i mean really dense and dry loaf. but i can make good banana bread.
• give up soda - on the most part, i did.
• hold less value for things that don’t matter like music taste and what not - i definitely stand by this shit.
• don’t get a big head. it’s cool to be confident but not a douche bag. i try to emphasize that i am joking most of the time, but also don’t be too self deprecating. it’s not healthy - i dislike my tone in these resolutions. but yeah. 2010 was the year i embraced being an asshole/ganster and this year was the year i was okay with being a neurotic bitch. not proud.
• actually talk to people when they have done something that bothers me. don’t be petty about it - i think i did pretty okay with this.
• be less picky - not sure what this meant. edit: it’s a safe guess that i was talking about boys. i was less picky but that created so many moments of confusion. what becomes acceptable?
• keep doing whatever i’m doing as long as i like myself - shittiest resolution on this list.
• become this crazy prolific writer and reader because they are forever connected. a great writer is a great reader - noble intentions. i did a lot of both this year, but not prolifically.
• be violent and passionate about everything i do. put my best effort - man if only sheer effort counted for more things in life. but i dunno about violent or passionate.